I think empathy is downstream from energy and capacity. If I feel good in my body, I have more capacity for empathy. If I'm tired or stressed, I don't have as much room for it.
I think this can be trained, but ultimately "bad actors" can be black holes for goodwill — there are those who will suck the life out of you if you let them. The right move might be to grey rock, or in some cases, fight back. By my estimation, only those with little remaining self-preservation instinct or who live by the grace of the whole (e.g., monks) can stand to turn the other cheek to everybody, in practice.
I imagine the strategy to achieve real global peace is the exact same as for local (individual) peace: clear out the blockages and latches in the system. Reduce the conditioning, but keep the capacity, and let energy flow more smoothly.
I'm just speculating, though. I'm still trying to figure this out. The inner work I have been doing has been largely focused on letting go and being generally at peace, and it feels like I'm running into the limit of that. I'm contending now with pain and discomfort that exceeds my capacity to be at peace. It threatens to incapacitate me. To contend with this, I've gone back to coffee and am focused more on whole-body engagement with my environment than just the internal dissolution of "latches."
I'm not sure if I'm onto something, though. I think the ultimate measure is the capacity to regulate ones' level of grip based on the nature of what's in front of you. I don't know how to explain it, but it's like... some disassociation is fine, when things get rough. You can look at the pain objectively but not wallow in it, and let it spread through the system as you do what it takes to live and move forward. Roll on, play hurt, etc. It's...a delicate, ill defined process. No right answers, but no wrong ones, too.
I think this all applies to society, as well. People are never going to be on the same page. Think about your personal growth journey. Would you 10 years ago be interested and committed to the things you are now? I doubt it. There's variability built into the lowest levels of the system, and that's a feature, not a limitation. Our ultimate cultural (and digital) technology needs to leverage this, rather than trying to work around or lock it down, otherwise it won't last longer than a generation or two.
Very good points, appreciate your take on the article.
Very grounded in "what does empathy look like in the day-to-day, challenges to empathy, times when empathy isn't the best idea".
Yes empathy isn't a black-and-white. We don't wish ourselves a dumb empathy. We want society to succeed because people in relationships understand each other wayy more than ever before. Because friends just "get" each other and it's easier to click and resolve disagreements, and it's more fun to hang out with them too with all this joy, clarity, and spaciousness that arises out of mutual understanding. We want to resolve the interpersonal conflicts, and then the intrapersonal conflicts. Empathy with yourself is a thing, too. Many more abstract, alien empathies I haven't even thought of. Necessitates becoming more conscious.
Just some thoughts. Empathy endgame still a bit blurry for me.
> We want society to succeed because people in relationships understand each other wayy more than ever before.
Gold. I'd Goodhart the hell out of mutual understanding, consequences be damned. (Unless of course it comes at the expense of self-understanding, which is essentially ruinous empathy...hm..)
> it's more fun to hang out with them too with all this joy, clarity, and spaciousness that arises out of mutual understanding
YES.
> We want to resolve the interpersonal conflicts, and then the intrapersonal conflicts.
Ah, intrapersonal conflicts. I was going to say "innerpersonal," but that makes sense and has the benefit of actually being a word. Those inner conflicts...are the true sources of a lot of the other ones.
> Just some thoughts. Empathy endgame still a bit blurry for me.
Thanks for lighting the way and spurring me to think on the topic. 🫶🏼
I think empathy is downstream from energy and capacity. If I feel good in my body, I have more capacity for empathy. If I'm tired or stressed, I don't have as much room for it.
I think this can be trained, but ultimately "bad actors" can be black holes for goodwill — there are those who will suck the life out of you if you let them. The right move might be to grey rock, or in some cases, fight back. By my estimation, only those with little remaining self-preservation instinct or who live by the grace of the whole (e.g., monks) can stand to turn the other cheek to everybody, in practice.
I imagine the strategy to achieve real global peace is the exact same as for local (individual) peace: clear out the blockages and latches in the system. Reduce the conditioning, but keep the capacity, and let energy flow more smoothly.
I'm just speculating, though. I'm still trying to figure this out. The inner work I have been doing has been largely focused on letting go and being generally at peace, and it feels like I'm running into the limit of that. I'm contending now with pain and discomfort that exceeds my capacity to be at peace. It threatens to incapacitate me. To contend with this, I've gone back to coffee and am focused more on whole-body engagement with my environment than just the internal dissolution of "latches."
I'm not sure if I'm onto something, though. I think the ultimate measure is the capacity to regulate ones' level of grip based on the nature of what's in front of you. I don't know how to explain it, but it's like... some disassociation is fine, when things get rough. You can look at the pain objectively but not wallow in it, and let it spread through the system as you do what it takes to live and move forward. Roll on, play hurt, etc. It's...a delicate, ill defined process. No right answers, but no wrong ones, too.
I think this all applies to society, as well. People are never going to be on the same page. Think about your personal growth journey. Would you 10 years ago be interested and committed to the things you are now? I doubt it. There's variability built into the lowest levels of the system, and that's a feature, not a limitation. Our ultimate cultural (and digital) technology needs to leverage this, rather than trying to work around or lock it down, otherwise it won't last longer than a generation or two.
Very good points, appreciate your take on the article.
Very grounded in "what does empathy look like in the day-to-day, challenges to empathy, times when empathy isn't the best idea".
Yes empathy isn't a black-and-white. We don't wish ourselves a dumb empathy. We want society to succeed because people in relationships understand each other wayy more than ever before. Because friends just "get" each other and it's easier to click and resolve disagreements, and it's more fun to hang out with them too with all this joy, clarity, and spaciousness that arises out of mutual understanding. We want to resolve the interpersonal conflicts, and then the intrapersonal conflicts. Empathy with yourself is a thing, too. Many more abstract, alien empathies I haven't even thought of. Necessitates becoming more conscious.
Just some thoughts. Empathy endgame still a bit blurry for me.
> We want society to succeed because people in relationships understand each other wayy more than ever before.
Gold. I'd Goodhart the hell out of mutual understanding, consequences be damned. (Unless of course it comes at the expense of self-understanding, which is essentially ruinous empathy...hm..)
> it's more fun to hang out with them too with all this joy, clarity, and spaciousness that arises out of mutual understanding
YES.
> We want to resolve the interpersonal conflicts, and then the intrapersonal conflicts.
Ah, intrapersonal conflicts. I was going to say "innerpersonal," but that makes sense and has the benefit of actually being a word. Those inner conflicts...are the true sources of a lot of the other ones.
> Just some thoughts. Empathy endgame still a bit blurry for me.
Thanks for lighting the way and spurring me to think on the topic. 🫶🏼
🙌🙌
and thanks for reading + contributing to the conversation!